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Things That May Or May Not Have Really Happened

Oct 11 '14
keyote:

fiji-bitch:

dynastylnoire:

insidehishead:

some of the most sensitive areas of the female body

look at all the regions that are not titties and vagina guys
porn has lied to you. there are other places you can touch that sensitive and pleasurable. 

I must learn my areas

fuck her in the eyes

Yes, fuck her in the eyes because the only possible way to interact with the erogenous zones of a woman is to thrust a penis into them.

keyote:

fiji-bitch:

dynastylnoire:

insidehishead:

some of the most sensitive areas of the female body

look at all the regions that are not titties and vagina guys

porn has lied to you. there are other places you can touch that sensitive and pleasurable. 

I must learn my areas

fuck her in the eyes

Yes, fuck her in the eyes because the only possible way to interact with the erogenous zones of a woman is to thrust a penis into them.

(Source: biencorrect)

Oct 11 '14
spoopy-inqueersition:

godblessintheflesh:

freshstrawberries:

sonderdog:

thought this was a useful infographic

This is super helpful.

ALSO if they feel gender is an influence of attraction, a person might identify as bi rather than pan

If I might make an addition:Don’t ever criticize someone for identifying as one or the other even if it doesn’t match your personal definition. These are tough concepts to nail down. Just let us do our thing.

spoopy-inqueersition:

godblessintheflesh:

freshstrawberries:

sonderdog:

thought this was a useful infographic

This is super helpful.

ALSO if they feel gender is an influence of attraction, a person might identify as bi rather than pan

If I might make an addition:
Don’t ever criticize someone for identifying as one or the other even if it doesn’t match your personal definition. These are tough concepts to nail down. Just let us do our thing.

(Source: cannibal-rainbow)

Oct 11 '14

(Source: r0nald)

Oct 11 '14
Oct 11 '14

reblog if you ARE bisexual, SUPPORT bisexuals, or are a FIVE-HUNDRED FOOT TALL AMPHIBIOUS MONSTER arising out of the MARIANA TRENCH

(Source: lexicaltrap)

Oct 11 '14

eldandil:

"In a hole in the ground, there lived a Hobbit."

J.R.R. Tolkien

Oct 11 '14

i-choose-death-before-decaf:

thestasher:

itsyourdistraction:

witch-boots:

whitehouse:

"I’m always willing to work with anyone, Democrat or Republican, to get things done." —President Obama at NorthwesternU on working with Congress to expand opportunity for more middle-class families

obama just does not give a fuck anymore and it is hilarious

Obama isn’t perfect but congress is a joke.

Everybody blames him for shit when they really need to look at Congress.

I don’t care how you feel about his politics, but you have to admit he’s hilarious.

Oct 11 '14

natnovna:

even shows with great representation like how to get away with murder and orange is the new black refuse to acknowledge bisexuality and it’s fucking infuriating, if a character is shown to have had a past relationship with someone of the same gender or another gender they always have to reinforce and prove their heterosexuality or homosexuality to their new partner as means of a fucking character arc and it makes no sense. 

Oct 11 '14

xlikegold:

onmywaytoonederland:

itsstuckyinmyhead:

Canadian Photoset #19

more?

American Photoset#18

I love my country

Since this post was created the new 5, 10, 20 and 50 dollar bills have been rolled out which also smell like maple. God bless us all.

Oct 11 '14

jennytrout:

chiavedisol:

snoots-and-boops:

i swear I’m not a model

Never before tumblr did I think I’d find snakes to be cute

And now, with the weather, a snake with a little toupee on. Snake?

Welll, Jim, it’s going to be warm over by my heat lamp, and a little on the cool side near my water dish. Back to you, Jim.

Thank you, snake. I don’t know why we hired you.

Oct 11 '14
rhyse:

rhyse:

i love this post so much

wait this is my post omg

rhyse:

rhyse:

i love this post so much

wait this is my post omg

(Source: aurevoir-mes-amis)

Oct 11 '14

aceofgeeks:

I have no words that could possibly make this any better.

Oct 11 '14

brainstatic:

The xkit guy could cure cancer and he’d be like “I’m sorry this took so long I’ve been so busy please forgive me.”

Oct 11 '14
  • what she says: you can touch my hair if you want
  • what she means: please for the love of god play with my hair feel how soft it is i will roll over into your lap like a kitten
Oct 11 '14
""Are you gonna write about this?"

Like his mediocre lines
and the way he butchered the names of Thai food
had me shaking at the knees.
Like that was something worth noting.

I still wrote three poems about my last dinner date.
I live in a world where I am blessed to believe that
everything is something worth noting.

But people tell me that if I keep writing poetry
about every mouth I meet,
nobody’s going to want to kiss me anymore.

The first time that someone compared my poems
to Taylor Swift songs,
I didn’t know that it wasn’t supposed to be a compliment.
It turns out they weren’t saying: “thank you
for your honesty, your openness, your willingness
to make life into art even when it gets tough to pronounce”.

They were saying: “All you write are love poems.”
Like that wasn’t okay.
Like that was somehow discrediting or laughable.
They were saying: “You go on too many dates
and you can’t make them stay.”
And I don’t know how to shake that off.

I live in a world where I am blessed to believe that
everything is something worth noting,
even bad dinner dates.
I also live in a world where a 24 year old Taylor Swift
can’t write about bad dinner dates anymore.
A world where she has sworn off dating and written an album
with a curt nod to love instead of a wide smile,
because she’s sick of her love life being an American pastime,
a comedic punchline every time she leaves the house.

“Watch out: she might write a song about you!”

God forbid she tells the world that you’re a sloppy kisser.
God forbid she tells the world that it still hurts that you left.

She is a girl with a big heart and a bigger mouth
and she owns everything that ever happens to her.

I own everything that ever happens to me

and I refuse straddle the line between privacy and honesty
for the sake of someone else’s comfort level.
I will not be a Disney mermaid
willing to give up her own voice for love.

Forget legs.
Choke on water, choke on ink.
I will not kiss another man who refuses to learn how to swim."
"Me vs. Taylor Swift vs. Ariel" Trista Mateer (via tristamateer)